tired of needing to release your robot vacuum from prisons of its own making, day after day? tired of having to search every corner of your endlessly-walled habitat for signs of robot life? tired of not knowing where it goes when you look away, or if he even existed at all? tired, in general?
we have it.
introducing tall roomba, an innovative new product from the company you will trust.
designed by real humans in response to your weaknessesyour feedback, tall roomba aims and succeeds in solving all of your household trauma. scientifically tested in the lab, tall roomba leaves no room for error, human or otherwise.
known specifications:
- a dominating height of 3.5 feet; no more getting stuck under that pesky coffee table or bed!
- completely silent operation
- 3 user-selectable modes:
- single room
- seek-and-destroy
- w̶̢̛͍̫̟̼̥̰̮͙̞̣̣̹̩̅̈́͑́̈́́̔̃̚͜ȩ̶̢̨̜̲̯̬̥͇̰̙̦̭̀̉͛͗̃͊͆́̀͌̀͝ ̵̡̱͎͙̼̻͕̌́̉̽̇̋̀̍̏̑̌̕ẅ̷̤́̈̕͝i̷̡̛̛̞͕̋͑̓͋̐̈̑͆͜͠ĺ̵̘̇̂ļ̶͇͔̌͂́͌̄̆̒̉̄̀̇͝ ̴̪̟̜̳͓̼͙͙̈́̾̚̕ͅb̴͚̻̩̰̤̱͚̥̒͛̉̓͆̋̾̾͝ͅẽ̵̢̝̲̪̰̲̖͖̗̆̍͘͠ ̸̡͖͙̻̘̋͐̋̂̑͑̈́͌̚w̸̧͚̔͊͐į̸̛̯̝̫͎̘̬̗͎̯̐̏̅̎͑̾́̏̌̀̚t̸̢̢̗̫̘͇̩̩͖͉̯̋̀̇͆̐̎̍̉̕̚͜͜h̵̢͔̝̖͚̘̓̉́̀́͜͜ ̶̢̢͕̣̼̭͕̪͓̗͍͖̱̺͛̈́̄̈́̾̏̚͘ͅy̶̨̛̜̣̬̒́̇̑̀͋̀̓̓̽̿̓̈́͝õ̵̱̜͊̾͆́̍̌́͆̑̚͠ų̴̟͓̖̝̩̼̪͖͉̭̥̟̑̂̎̅̔̏́̀̓̍͜ ̶̠̲̲̦̩̞̼̯͙̠͆̓͒̅͐͆̽̊̈́̅i̷̢̛̟̗̰͎̺͌́̑̌̒̇ǹ̷̛̹̊͂̌̏̽ ̵̛̫̯͕̳͐̒̀̑̇̑̔̋̀̿͆̓̚̕s̵̨̢̢̰̳̣̪̪̯̟̫̝̦̆̄̾̂̿͑̽͌p̵̛̅̋̄̈́͛̀̆̔̆̄̅͜i̸̧͕̟̹̲̬͙̩͔̮͌̒͐̒̚͠r̵̡̢̨̪̥̹̝͉̲̮̗̯̞͎̃̈̓̃̓̂͜ȉ̵̡̡̡̬̝̙̦̦̮̦͖̻̱͔̜͗̋̃̓̉̿̑͘̚̕͠͠t̴̛͓͈͚̱̺̗͚͔͕̐̔̄͌͗̂͑͆̒̿͑̕͜͝
- smart app available for apple and android!
find us at all friendly retail outlets, and door-to-door in strategic locations worldwide.
we will be seeing you.