there is only one rule and it is never broken: this window can be looked into but not moved through, like a tv station tuned to a point in the real world. i would float over the open ocean, wander the streets of distant cities unnoticed, zip island-to-island in the tropics, and visit remote and hostile landscapes that few if any have or will ever set foot in. if it can be found on a map it can be visited, no questions asked.
but we can go deeper.
the darkest depths of the oceans and its barely-terrestrial denizens, cave networks disconnected from the surface with their unimaginably storied walls; secrets buried in our own garden, never to be revealed. i recently watched a short documentary by jacob geller titled fear of depths that perfectly speaks to this primal call of the deep, and has doubtlessly steered at least some of my recent dreams below ground.
but we can go further.
if a window can be opened to any place, then why look only inward toward the dirt and rock were presently grounded on? there is so much more up there, and this is a dream after all.
the moon and its violently pock-marked surface; the earth as its backdrop. mars, red and barren but for the faint but powerful evidence of human accomplishment. jupiter and saturn, as alien as a near-neighbor could be with its gaseous, landless form. the sun, a ball of fire so intense that i can feel the heat through the otherwise impermeable window.
but despite the vastness of space above it somehow felt smaller, less interesting than what i saw looking inward at that dirt and rock and life. the less i knew about a destination the more it transformed into a sole, monolithic landmark; a single, increasingly bland item on a universal shopping list:
- experience the world famous moon craters
- see the marvelous mars rovers
- test your strength against the suns solar flares
- ride the rings of saturn
- visit jupiter, uranus, venus
- and on and on and on
- weve been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty
how much could i miss by not knowing that there are interesting landmarks to be seen? how much have i already missed? what purpose am i serving by going further, ticking more items off an endless list?
keep going
now playing: Home Call by The Toxic Avenger 🎶
next stop: a distant star; someone elses sun. planet after planet, moon after moon, each less interesting than the last. black holes and supernovas, “seen one seen ’em all”. youd think id dream something more entertaining than this. the further from home i venture the more faded and meaningless those shopping list items become, just another stop on an endless journey outward. star by star the landmarks recede and the unknown becomes the unknowable, until memories are all that are left.
this is where it falls apart. w a k e u p.
for how important i felt that opening line was as i wrote it down, it was surprising in hindsight to see how quickly it fell away, that it was just a catalyst for the journey. once started it always has the same ending: i never think to step away from the window.
im not sure theres a deep meta-meaning to any of this, or to the fact that its recurring, but in documenting it i can identify a broad theme: don’t neglect what you know in blind pursuit of something you dont. frustratingly this could also be read as the polar opposite: dont assume something is uninteresting because it is unknown.
have you ever started a story you didnt know how to finish